WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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