I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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