Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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