just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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