OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize