Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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