He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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