Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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