That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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