dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
