it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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