i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize