Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize