i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize