you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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