Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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