mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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