My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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