New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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