So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
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Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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