He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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