So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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