I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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