Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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