Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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