How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize