don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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