You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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