Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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