I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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