pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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