He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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