You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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