K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize