Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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