im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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