but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize