I wish I could teleport
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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