Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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