What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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