Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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