weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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