She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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