She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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