my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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