Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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