I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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