You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
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We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
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My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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