you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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