Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize