sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize